That’s right, it’s the motherfucking crumhorn That’s sound of Bender bustin out with his guns drawn Just kidding, I don’t preach violence Just talk a bunch of shit to fill up the silence Everyone in iso on their lonely little islands Some stay low, some choose the highlands Reborn in the fire of the Phoenix Audio equivalent of showing you my penis I’m Sorry if you’re squeamish But You chose the wrong rekkid Always have the worst thoughts sittin here neglected Need a shrink to get my whole mind disinfected Its the sound of the medieval consort Whole world going crazy with the blood sport Aftermath of the Black Plague Bunch of silly nonsense like Zappa with the black page I got rage, but I keep it pretty hidden This time I turn it too hot for your mittens I like kittens, I like turtles I like the girls with the power like squirtle If I had to theorise the way I’d like to die it’s to drown between a pair of thighs, ya feel me? Gotta rationalise why I’m 35 and rappin brutal lines every time, it’s the real me Or is it just a mask, an alter ego Call the ghostbusters cos I’m here, Lord Vigo Carpathian sorcerer, with the torture Like a second grade kid on recorder Drink a flagon o’ mead, smoke a mountain of weed Ride the mightiest steed, that’s some king shit The court jester with the Viking ancestors, protesters always trynna throw me in the fire pit Comin at the castle with the flames, the pitchforks Motherfuckers always jealous, I’m a rich dork Nonetheless, I’m the polyrhythm killer Bender got the dames from Tokyo to New York I’m a chiller, I’m a good sport See you at the banquet I’ll be drinking all the good port Eating all the good Pork and the ox meat Take you to the opera got a private little box seat Watch a Bach suite on the harpsichord Im hardly bored, when I’m with the artsy broads Always end up fucking with the crazy ones Always end up coming after me with the lazer guns Oh well, I still don’t regret em Gotta go through hell if ya gonna get to heaven Bender gotta keep it real 24/7, 24/7

I don’t know why I’m doing this I got a brand new rap career I guess I don’t know why I’m doing this Yuck Shit is fucking gross Gotta have a shower in an hour at the most Head to toe in the slime from the 80’s Bender for your president, kissing all ya babies Just joking, I do it for a funny Never ever did it for the fame or the money Just wanna little honey And a bottle of cholula Peculiar, got ya feelin torn like Nat Imbruglia I went to school with ya A super mega dorky guy Now Im in a group that’s recognised as being super fly Im super high I smoked up when I wrote this Sorry mum and dad but that’s just how it is in showbiz …You should focus on your motives Moses in the desert asking where the fuck his boat is fightin off the locusts, gritty in his sandals Im the kind of dude where you can grab me by the handles Sound vandals Represent Kaiyote squad Get ya in ya element to take peyote talk to god I’m pretty odd, not a dad but got the bod Got the cash but not the wad, got the fish but not the rod Got the work but not the job, end it like a fucking slob I don’t know why I’m doing this I got a brand new rap career I guess I don’t know why I’m doing this I got a brand new rap career I guess

This one goes, this one goes, this one goes out to the town that I’m currently abiding This one goes, this one goes, this one goes out to the town that I currently reside in Hanging with the tight crew Down in icy Melbourne Honeys out the wazoo And a couple hellspawn Get the fuck off my lawn Chillin with my best squad Makin lotsa tight shit Fucked up on the spiced rum Acting like a pirate Spicy kinda nice fun You should probably try it It’s loosey goosey times Losing Gary busey dimes Wake up in the gutter covered in the pukey goopy slimes Uber home to do some snooty lines and dookie rhymes Bender feelin blended but he still the fuckin paradigm Might record some vocals or some super spooky chimes Maybe summin groovy help ya loosen up and move ya spine Ya feeling good? I’m feeling fine This one goes, this one goes, this one goes out to the town that I’m currently abiding This one goes, this one goes, this one goes out to the town that I currently reside in Yo Bender what you trynna represent with the fake voice? Tried to use my real accent was a bad choice Not from America, just got a mask on Can’t take careaya , if ya gonna ask wrong Gonna chill in Preston, buzzed on the fine beers Musical impressions too refined for ya swine ears But who cares? Gotta keep it gritty in the city where I vibe hard Bender always mastering a thing but never try hard Only starting raps the other minute but ya mind charred In my destiny to be the one to lead the vanguard Got em so wet that Im gonna need a lifeguard You be can be the Baywatch I can be the die hard Kinda like a bard Hairy kinda shakespeare original, in an endless sea of fuckin fakes here Don’t need your fake cheer get turbo on it Find me in my quarters where I’m gonna write another sonnet You beneath it, I’m upon it This one goes, this one goes, this one goes out to the town that I’m currently abiding This one goes, this one goes, this one goes out to the town that I currently reside in

It’s just a game to me x 4 Gotta get the high score, bro could ya lend a coin Ladies wanna encore, givin’ me the tenderloin Smashin’ all the buttons like I’m down at the arcade Savin numbers in my prepaid of some bridesmaids she not a mermaid But she pretty wet though Through her eyeshade see her giving me the get go I get low, always make em sweat yo Bender gets they legs splayed, buddy you a downgrade Always chasing after me like ghosts after Pac Man Gotta give it to em like I’m trynna break my back man You pretty whack man, I’m stating facts man Bowser with ya princess in my castle making stacks man Ya not a hero, actin like ya Mario Knock your coins to zero, lothario scenario Classic like Deniro mashing buttons like it’s Double Dragon Smash it all to rubble, Donkey Kong with knuckles draggin’ You always laggin’ Got some latency I Got em on their knees Waiting patiently I’m acting brazenly Perfect score fatality Your capacity is limited by personality Or rather in it’s absence She like it when I’m freaky in the dungeon with contraptions Ya gonna need distractions Or detachment We playing Smash Bros, you ain’t in the action It’s just a game to me x 4 You in last place, so you always get the blue shell Never hit me with it cos I really know your moves well Another round of hell on Street Fighter Thought I’d just inform ya that ya girl is a pillow biter Don’t think she like ya But she like me Only help inspire me when they ain’t actin quietly Making noise, explode like fucking Asteroids said she need a man cos she done with the little boys OH! I’m classic like Galaga Call the fuckin janitor It’s getting kinda crazy dog Here come the fuckin’ manager Better have my tokens or I’ll put him in a hazy fog Knock him cold, snoozin on the tiles Gotta play the next level, cruisin through the trials Takin corners sideways on Daytona USA My persona getting flowers from Ramona everyday Hey, not from Arizona or Atlanta But I’m still playin Paperboy When I hit the stage it’s like the whole fucking room full of people wanna jump for joy Yayyyy! Time to enter my initials Number one champion, Guinness book official Happy for the recognition, Kroners and the crystals Time to leave the Battle Zone, putting down my pistols cos… It’s just a game to me

Here’s a little story bout a self conscious rapper Might be pretty good or very much crapper My first rap CD Might hurt me when they tease me Made this in a mania Not feeling very breezy Fella from Tasmania, Make beats so very easy I hope I’m not just draining ya I hope I’m not too cheesy g Not like Easy E but I still got flow tho Heavy like a period I’m a bro not a ho though Sorry for my words being so adolescent, so effervescent, Yeah I’m a king, yeah a peasant, so unpleasant Try not to give a fuck about it Anyway Any day, Hopefully won’t look like a guy who gotta go to Jenny Craig Where my Betty Paige I ain’t past my petty phase Microwave some ready mades Serenade like a renegade heating up the centigrade Do a lotta things where I’m never paid, do it for the love, never for the accolades This much technique after one year? I hit my peak after one beer Out one side and in the one ear Motherfucker listen, I made it very clear The host of the ghost train with the most brain smokes the most strains Spooky guy, get ya hella high Take you for a ride till you wanna cry Mix with Stellavox Getting hella stocks Smell like hella Sox Swell like fellas cocks (ew) So nasty, so professional Slip into the booth for another confessional Don’t need a priest, they too arrest-able Keep saying words that are so regrettable Only thing I fiddle is synthesisers sounds like pulling teeth with some pliers Do raps cos shit is fire Once you hear me preach you in the choir I got fresh rhymes but a bad voice Not my first time on a bad choice I got more words like I’m James Joyce A Volvo mixed with a rolls Royce Well studied so I gotta lotta knowledge You dumb so I send ya back to college My raps you never expected Going in raw like I’m unprotected My hero’s the Old Dirty Bastard so crazy flirty Dastardly I’m a supervillain No melanin I got vanilla in My skin cos I’m so whitebread drop bombs nuclear warheads Get drunk puke on your bedspread Never put me in the top place in ya bunkbed Probably gonna fall down Massacre rhymes like Brian Jonestown Try to have a smile instead of the small frown I’m too fast dude really gotta slow down Onomatopoeia Sizzle in yo ear Smashing all the beer Sounding very clear Hero of my peers Grindin all your gears Bringing you to tears Sad like boo hoo Gettin the calls from honeys like yoohoo If ya gotta criticism well then screw you Better than you and better than ya crew too

I know you thinking about me I know you thinking about me I know x2 Don’t pretend You don’t give a shit I contend You ain’t being real with it Honestly Don’t lie to me You remember Bein’ side by side with me Hey I know you can’t just switch it off Got it buried Time to take the stitches off Be honest I wanna know Can i stay a minute? Do I gotta go? Ya scared Well me too Thought til the end I’d be with you Maybe not My destination Is it getting hot Call the fire station Cos I burn for you Wonder if you feel it Take my heart Drive it like you steal it Can’t take it But you can fucking deal it you can fucking deal it you can fucking deal it I know you thinking about me X2 Stay lost then, Stay cross then Make sure everybody knows you’re the boss then You the strong one Never wrong one At least give your ears from now until the songs done Yeah I’m fucking pissed Why’m I feelin this There’s some shit I missed But fucking deal with it Not a perfect man Not an angel guy Got an open heart Do my best to try Plus I’m super fly In my own way Thought that you and I Were in a zone Bae Guess I was wrong Wasn’t ok If I had a chance I’d try another way Know you’ll hear this I apologise By the time you do I’ll be different guy I can’t stay here In my sorrows Gotta think about All of my tomorrows I know you thinking about me x2

Honestly feelin’ pretty unlovely One a scale from one to ten, I’m ugly Poor little bendy got left in the cold Tried to stay fresh but instead got old At least a little older, nothing but cold shoulders, everywhere I go I still gotta flow Still wanna know Why she really walked away Guess I’ll hose down the concrete and wash the chalk away My outline on the ground, this is where they found me Here lies Bender Victim of a heartbreaker Guess I’ll make some armour, fire up the foundry Hurts to remember Pass me down the salt shaker Pour another shot, forget me not, Or forget me now, it doesn’t really matter Glass shatters when I’m lookin in the mirror I really miss your spirit, really miss the chatter Gotta keep making beats to fill up the emptiness Used to be a sweet guy now I’m just a twisted mess You should try a little tenderness When ya gonna pull the rug out When ya draining all my blood out Vampires know how to charm ya Disarm ya I guess I have a type, this I know with no doubt Damn liars bringin every kind of melodrama At least she not my baby mama, Though sometimes I wonder What my life would be like if had someone to watch, comfort in the thunder and the rain, the tears and the pain If I had a daughter, if I had a son, would I likely Fuck em up? Would I do the worst job for my precious buttercup? Maybe I’m pretty fuckin lazy I stay hazy I keep daydreaming Hear the sound of screaming Somewhere in the distance That’s the sound of my soul, crisis of existence Such persistence Always haunted by the ghosts of dreams I always wanted Wish I had some beauty so that I could try to flaunt it Can’t believe the awful ways in which you responded You really fucked me up fam Complete annihilation You left me here a broken man Something got lost in translation Wish I was a little wiser, wish I had a better plan I guess it’s too late anyway Bendy on the mend, gotta send me on a better way Who’s to say, the lost are the lonely Bruises always heal, at least I’m not a phony Gonna get back on the pony And ride it like I stole the motherfucker Yeah I’m down, but Im ready for the upper The last supper, except without the Judas I’m watching for who you is You can’t trust everyone Don’t forget that everything you see is just a setting sun, a setting sun, a setting sun

This the time when I’m buggin out This the time when I’m filled with doubt This the time when I rock my shit This the time when I’m losing it This the time when I’m feeling lost This the time when I’m in the sauce This the time when I’m feeling tight This the time I can’t sleep at night Maybe I’m just bipolar On a spectrum, Narcissistic, rotten molar, brain poisoned, I’m a misfit Maybe I’m completely normal Who knows, what’s the reference, who measures, where’s the yardstick Maybe I’m a fucking boss Rock the masses, shake they asses Making classics, got the tactics Maybe I’m just anyone, doesn’t matter, time get faster, you the master Of destiny, she always been a friend to me Got where I be, so luckily Put me in the right place, came a long way from beats on MySpace Now I’m making shit to my taste Fucking em up, fucking em up Rock crowds, give it to em sucking it up In line with the energies, hot fire from the stage no enemies Except for one the guy Oh boy you can guess just who it be Neurons in my brain going off so randomly, why you gotta be so down philosophically What the fuck man, some really dumb shit got you stuck man Ya face look really dumbstruck man, get your shit together, get yourself a plan for any kinda weather Cos sometimes you lose something Your ears hummin Never saw the damn thing comin, a freight train leavin, you still runnin All you gotta do is let it go, find a way, find a better flow About what I speak all you motherfuckers know Y’know? Maybe I’m just A little fucking better than these other MCs talking shit that ain’t clever Even tho I wear the same sweater, everyday, forever Maybe I’m just The last thing you want on your playlist, the same thing a chalkboard to a nail is A whole history of abject failures Too sad for a rap song, nobody died, so what the fuck is so wrong Chill out bro, take a deep breath, everything will get wiped in the heat death Of the universe, a blessing and a curse, every single marker, every shibboleth You just a little dude in the galaxy, one little thread in the whole fuckin tapestry So let go Find purpose Remind yourself What your worth is You flawed Imperfect You perfect This the time when I’m buggin out This the time when I’m filled with doubt This the time when I rock my shit This the time when I’m losing it This the time when I’m feeling lost This the time when I’m in the sauce This the time when I’m feeling tight This the time I can’t sleep at night

Bender’s back to commit career suicide  Time to show you motherfuckers poison that I brew inside Fuck every single one of you with absolutely no exception   Hate you fuckers equally, suck on my erection  Lotta anger in the world today, if you hadn’t noticed Everybody think they got the answer but it’s fucking bogus Your dreams are hocus pocus Sufferings eternal as the Buddha said  In the scheme of things, you’ll soon be dead Each and everyone of us Beauty, it is always fleeting  Love it while you can before the universe gives you a beating  Clearly in bad zone  Know I’m not the only one 2020 fucking everybody, it’s a loaded gun, A burning sun  Not a lotta fun Everybody plays their part in the misery, it’s grisly The strangest time in history, people rush to get to the artillery The climates killing everyone, it’s killing you, it’s killing me  You hate the cops, you be a cop Cancel culture snitches On your throne of Holy judgement  Crying like some bitches They’re poisoning the rivers On a land that’s built on genocide The silence of my childhood, loud from ghosts, left behind  I’m privileged, I’m fragile, and oh boy do I know it  At least I’m agile in my mind but I’m still gonna blow it  My life, I never chose it, it chose me, and I’m thankful Sorry if this is too much for you to fucking handle but Everything’s a scandal, everyone’s a vandal Everything you do to reach your dreams fills up a landfill  Only when the sun consumes the earth is there a standstill  Puppet masters laughin’ as we tear apart the anthill Am I bleak and nihilistic?  Am I wise or just a misfit?   Am I preaching to the choir or just dying at the pulpit? I can hear the doomsday clock, it’s cracking like a bullwhip You really think that your solution’s actually some new shit?   Don’t prescribe me ideology, I know your holy books just a footnote in an anthology Just go back and take a look On the wheel of time which grinds us all to blood and dust  Trynna love each other with compassion is a fuckin must  I’m just bein’ honest cos I’m trying to build some trust Sometimes fuck it up, so do you, yeah so fuckin what We gotta come together, like how Thelma and Louise ends If we gonna drive it off the cliff at least we still friends I’ll be playing mellow on the deck of the titanic Bowin cello from the heart to soothe em in the sinking panic  Nothings ever static  Things are always changing  Terminator coming to your house to blow your brains in  This the shell I came in  This the hell I rein in  I know it’s not the same as yours but why we fuckin blamin Standing with a shovel, you can fill a fucking grave in Life’s a fucking puzzle, not as simple as you claiming  Everywhere is tragedy so don’t be fucking mad at me  I’d gladly change it all tomorrow if I had the power G But I can’t My hearts broken  My lungs choking my minds croakin used to be so soft spoken, What the hell have I been tokin’? FUCK FUCK 2020

Bang this one To tuck in the homies Kiss em goodnight Let em dream about ponies A little bit of soul A little Morricone, RIP, do a pour a 40 ceremony Lost another legend Plenty more to go though Gotta have some friends Unless ya rollin solo Only live once, so ya gotta live YOLO Gotta move fast less ya wanna slow though It’s really up to you friend Like the time with you I do spend Yeah I’m leaving on the night light You know we gonna never fight right You know we always ever tight right You know we gonna fly a kite right Shine bright Shine bright Without question Softest shit you ever heard Stay restin’ Got ya back cos mom’s the word Wrote you this progression Put a lotta flair there Lookin’ with a Care Bear stare yeah yeah Eat some jelly and some ice cream Watch some telly have a nice dream Hear a song with a tight theme Open up ya curtain, light breeze and a light beam Gonna get read a bedtime story Same one again doesn’t matter doesn’t bore me? Do you want the hungry caterpillar Or do you want the one about the battle rappin’ Masta Killa? Oh you want the first one? I treat you like my first son Glass of water quench your thirst hun

Damn, Dom going’ crazy on the drum kit Thats a good excuse for me to say a lotta dumb shit Round the traps like Bonham Funny in ya tummy like ya eatin’ up the wrong ham Scram Call yourself an ambulance I’ll survive the avalanche standing in my power stance Dance Like a one leg chicken Comin outta solitary, tryna get ya dick in Say a Lotta crude words One in hand and one in bush, a stone that’s hittin’ two birds See what I did there Gotta a lot in common with Einstein, the shit hair I’m rockin’ all the knitwear, Fighting off the chill air You might think I’m pretty cool but trust me I am still square A big dork, a good sport Bringing you the raps everyday, its an onslaught

Motherfuckers wanna raise hell in the car park Gotcha takin shelter in the dirt like an aardvark Bright spark, someone lit the fireworks Dunkirk, light it up and show em’ how a pyre works It’s ya funeral, least ya life was beautiful She the Mamacita here to show ya how desire hurts Hey squirt Where the fuck ya runnin dude? Gotta give ya platitudes on my attitude Gotta set the latitude, for the air strike Sweatin in the tracksuit and the fake Nike’s I get likes, really on the reg tho Gonna light the fucker up, blow the powderkeg yo Ya bleeding from the head slow Someone get a paramedic Better fucking quit it, I’m just fuckin feelin paralytic, Bender gotta spit it, speed it up and double quick it Oh fuck Someone called the po po Someone was ya mom, rumour is she a slow hoe Bad Trouble Scoot it on the double Runnin with the bongos like we Fred and Barney rubble Uh Crazy kinda altercation Probably need some compensation for your facial alterations Damn Got a lil complication By my calculation it’s the day for your assassination Get back, get back, motherfucker Smoke dat, smoke dat, burnin rubber Leaving that black on the asphalt, Jump the fence, pole vault, running like it’s your fault So hard, motherfuckers fried cos they Smoke shard, lotta Brain damage I’m the Randy Savage Pillaging ya villages Killer from the villa Diligent and villainous Infamous, viciousness is limitless I’m just a fly guy, you the antithesis I got the third eye, see more vividness You gotta F but I wrote the whole syllabus Yeah It’s a battle track I’m a battle cat speaking psychobabble crap Killer zodiac, take a kodiak, just a white dude rapping like I’m Toby Mac Get back, get back motherfucker Ya soundtrack sound whack, leave it in the gutter Did I stutter, yeah I didn’t think so Flamingo kinda gringo, he never out of synchro Gotta lotta lingo, lotta vocabulary, You the kinda bimbo always calling the constabulary Snooping out ya window, snitchy little Becky Honeys always jumping on, bitches wanna wreck me Yeah they kinda sexy, gonna watch they motivation Whole lot are tripping on the daddy issue seperation I speak the truth tho, the truth hurts The truth is tho, you the worst Bender writes the best verse, never saw it coming, your Shortcomings, I summon, to the forefront You slumming, Bender always, what they more want You got the character of manikins in storefronts Especially the headless ones Gotchya lady givin me the head and breakfast son Got the black belt but the white face Put ya into deep space in a neck brace Throw ya in the ocean in a sack, that’s a sack race Sinkin with bricks while I’m winning in the yacht race Yeah I know I said it wrong Don’t give a fuck, havin fun making fire songs Gotta issue? Grab ya self a tissue The doors over there, ain’t no one gonna miss you No one gonna kiss you Call my manager if ya really gotta issue

Damn, I’m feeling kinda high now Can’t really trust what I’m seeing with eyes now Life is but a dream and it’s made out of crystal Visions in between what does my existence even mean? I’m tripping, actually Seein unicorns and shit, I’m pretty sure it’s factually school of neon fishes are just swimmin super casually Shit is comin on, in a way that isn’t gradually Fuck, I think I need to slow it up, Seeing crazy rainbows in empty paper cup and stuff Funny in my tummy I just hope that I don’t throw it up Everybody’s face is filled with tiny little glowy stuff Oh boy, I’m really feelin sloppy Everything’s original and everything’s a copy This this kind of trip where you imagine Annunaki Reptiles in our midst that inhabit Nagasaki What the fuck I’m talkin ‘bout I can’t remember Summin summin monsters in Japan, summin bout the weather? Do clouds have feelings? I really think they might do That ones lookin pretty friendly, maybe I’ll say HI DUDE! Huh I guess he didn’t hear me, I guess he’s just too distant to perceive me very clearly Maybe cos he’s made of gas he lacks perceptive faculties Why I’m seeing Buddha smiling at me from my Mac and cheese? Oh god, will I be like this forever? Seeing elves and demons and some ancient kinda letters? Maybe double droppin shit it wasn’t very clever Where the fuck did time went? Just lay me in the Chai tent I can’t believe my minds bent So outta shape Can’t escape from landscapes in the curtains and the drapes Everything is slowing down like playin broken cassette tapes Can’t drink the wine cos I’m fearing for the wrath of grapes All the patterns form, even when my eyes tight Everybody’s skin is filled with magic purple highlights Can’t tell if it’s noon or maybe it’s the twilight Am I seeing real things or trickery of eyesight?

Hey Whaddup How ya doin friend? Hope you’re on the dawn of something sweet, not a bitter end Hope ya got the dough so you can eat, and ya medicine You’re not alone, even tho its strange to comprehend Haven’t seen ya for a while Then we got all locked up I’m blessed that I’m a lucky one For you its maybe fucked up A heart that hangs so heavy when alone Needs a telephone to call me Appreciate the courage that you plucked up Know its hard We used to laugh so breezily Suddenly The time it passed so easily I’m holding out an olive branch and offer it so peacefully And promise that I’ll send you love through all the sacred frequencies Life will play upon your heartstrings And remind you of the true things Maybe its all time for us to learn the shape and size and pain of what its like to be inside the cage in which a bird sings All I’m tryin’ to say is if you feel alone you can always call me on your telephone All I’m tryin’ to say is if you feel alone you can always call me on your telephone Call me up Anytime just Call me Call me up x 2 Hey, whaddup How you feeling bud? Wish it was a little easier for you and me to hug Hope you gotta special someone next to you to keep ya snug And if you don’t, then it’s probably round the corner I love you, that’s someone that’ll never change Easy kinda thing to forget when it’s getting strange I wrote softly you can sip it like your coffee every morning The sun dawning as the seasons change It’s been a while, since we all got locked down I hope I make you smile, you frown like you been shot down A heart that feels lost when alone needs a telephone to call me I’m here to help you not drown Know it’s tough I used to always see ya It’s ok Remember that I need ya I’m sending all the vibes, I can muster to remind you that I trust ya I’m your number one cheerleader The way I feel about ya I struggle to find the words A better way to understand is simply listen to the birds You so unique and wonderful and wise and beautiful I understand the reason why I’ve never seen you follow any herds Your hands, strumming on the harp strings That’s the kinda peace, your presence to my heart brings Hope there’s something I can say to you that you remember your divinity my angel, thats the reason that you got wings All I’m trynna say is if you feel alone You can always call me on your telephone All I’m trynna say is if you feel alone You can always call me on your telephone Call me up Anytime just Call me Call me up