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lyrics

That’s right, it’s the motherfucking crumhorn
That’s sound of Bender bustin out with his guns drawn
Just kidding, I don’t preach violence
Just talk a bunch of shit to fill up the silence
Everyone in iso on their lonely little islands
Some stay low, some choose the highlands
Reborn in the fire of the Phoenix
Audio equivalent of showing you my penis
I’m Sorry if you’re squeamish
But You chose the wrong rekkid
Always have the worst thoughts sittin here neglected
Need a shrink to get my whole mind disinfected
Its the sound of the medieval consort
Whole world going crazy with the blood sport
Aftermath of the Black Plague
Bunch of silly nonsense like Zappa with the black page
I got rage, but I keep it pretty hidden
This time I turn it too hot for your mittens
I like kittens, I like turtles
I like the girls with the power like squirtle
If I had to theorise the way I’d like to die it’s to drown between a pair of thighs, ya feel me?
Gotta rationalise why I’m 35 and rappin brutal lines every time, it’s the real me
Or is it just a mask, an alter ego
Call the ghostbusters cos I’m here, Lord Vigo
Carpathian sorcerer, with the torture
Like a second grade kid on recorder
Drink a flagon o’ mead, smoke a mountain of weed
Ride the mightiest steed, that’s some king shit
The court jester with the Viking ancestors, protesters always trynna throw me in the fire pit
Comin at the castle with the flames, the pitchforks
Motherfuckers always jealous, I’m a rich dork
Nonetheless, I’m the polyrhythm killer
Bender got the dames from Tokyo to New York
I’m a chiller, I’m a good sport
See you at the banquet I’ll be drinking all the good port
Eating all the good Pork and the ox meat
Take you to the opera got a private little box seat
Watch a Bach suite on the harpsichord
Im hardly bored, when I’m with the artsy broads
Always end up fucking with the crazy ones
Always end up coming after me with the lazer guns
Oh well, I still don’t regret em
Gotta go through hell if ya gonna get to heaven
Bender gotta keep it real 24/7, 24/7

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Paul Bender Melbourne, Australia

Paul Bender was born inside an active volcano in 1687. He has written 458 novels, primarily in the genre of Dinosaur Erotica. At the age of 4, he realised he possessed the ability to dodge stationary bullets. He can lull any fish to sleep with his soaring and magnificent falsetto, a skill which won him an ARIA in 1995. He currently lives in Melbourne with his two lizards, Stavros and Germaine. ... more

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